Tag Archives: life

A Makeover for UmmQamarBlogs…coming soon!

After careful consideration I’ve decided to take this blog in a new direction.  I’ve been doing a little bit of that “introspection” that I speak so highly of.  So, after a great deal of thought I’ve concluded that it’s time for me to come out.

No I’m not gay.   A gay Muslim, that’s an oxymoron and a topic that deserves its own website.  I’m not even going to go there.  Where I am going to go is a little deeper into me.  I want to share my story, and hopefully you all will want to listen.  If not, I’ll find some new followers more deserving of my wisdom (that’s supposed to be a joke, I’m 23, I have no wisdom).

Originally I’d intended for this blog to be informative for both Muslims and Non-Muslims alike.  I’m not sure if I’ve fulfilled that purpose.  Either way, I think my readers have a right to know the reason behind my passion for Islam.  Islam did not MAKE me into the person that I am today, and trust me I am a better person; it simply provided me with a manual on how to be a better me.  Islam has given me a straight path to follow directly to success.  I am eternally grateful for the guidance I’ve received from this religion.  That’s why it’s crucial for me to share where I’ve come from, even if it is a dark and morbid place.  It seems you cannot appreciate the good in life if you’ve never experienced the bad.

SN: Stay tuned…I’ve got some good stuff planned.  Also if you haven’t had a chance, make sure you check out my new poetry blog http://dirtywordlaundry.wordpress.com


Is Islam a Match For You? 10 Types of People That Are Compatible With Islam

Peace be with you!

In no particular order, the following types of people will find Islam is the best way of life for them:

1. Those seeking to worship one God.  No bells, whistles, 3-in-1 deities, or confusion about multiple gods is present in Islam.  It’s pretty cut and dry.

2. Patient people (or those willing to become patient)

3. People seeking truth and clarity; a.k.a the “I’mTiredOfTheb.s.IWantTheRealMckoy” people.

4. Unselfish people who are always willing to lend a helping hand, or their wallets, whatever charitable deed rocks your boat.

5. People who like to smile 🙂

6. Optimists

7. People that want to die…and go to heaven because it sounds way cooler than being here.

8. People looking to start large families, as you will acquire many “brothers” and “sisters” once you become Muslim.

9. People that want to fulfill their purpose in life (which is worshipping God, duh).

10. People that don’t mind being outcasts.  As I’m sure you know Muslims are hated on all around the world.

If you feel that any of these things describe you or spark your interest, I strongly encourage you to become a Muslim.  What are you waiting for, the end of time?

Lets Get High

Sike!  I don’t get high…Anymore.  I used to smoke weed religiously.  Let’s just say for every time I stand up to pray(which is 5x a day), that’s how many joints I sparked up on a daily basis.  I proudly embraced this addiction for a good 7 years.  Talk about high times.  I’m not trying to encourage anyone to use drugs.  I actually would like to invite you all to a healthier habit.

Speaking from the heart of a woman who was once seriously committed to pot, no one could have ever convinced me that something better than marijuana existed.  I self medicated with weed.  Mary Jane was my knight in shining armor.  Always there to rescue me from the horrors of reality.  Of course I know better now.  While getting high relieves you of your stress temporarily, life will be right there, ready to slap you in the face when you come back down.  In reality you never escaped, you were just blissfully procrastinating.  If you would like something more concrete to soothe your soul, I have a suggestion.  Listen to Qur’an.

What a beautiful alternative to wasting your money and damaging your lungs.  I’m not a doctor or a psychiatrist, so follow my advice at your own risk.  All I can do is share what has been beneficial for me.  I mentioned earlier that I thought I would never find a substitute for weed.  I lied, because I never looked.  I was content with being a pothead.  I think, like so many others,  I associated getting high with being cool.  Let me tell you, there is nothing cool about being a smoked out, lazy-minded, nonchalant individual.  Nowadays I’m at ease with myself.  If  I’m in a funk I read or listen to Qur’an.  Qur’an gets me lifted like no narcotic known to man ever could.  Besides, there is no “coming down” or nasty side effect from listening to the word of God.  I love it.

I felt the need to share those thoughts with you all.  I had just finished enjoying a beautiful recitation of Surah (chapter) 

Photo courtesy of africa

“He Frowned.”  The coolness I felt was reminiscent of that “floating on cloud 9” feeling  I used to chase, only without the smoke and coughing.

Hadith of the Day- On Patience During Calamity

Beauty through the Thorns Photo By: Tina Phillips

As Salaamu Alaikum,

I hope everyone is feeling refreshed, recharged, and ready to attack the week.  I’m not, but that’s ok.  Here are a few Ahadith to encourage you all and myself to practice sabr (patience).  These were taken from one of my all time favorite books “The Way to Patience and Gratitude, Uddat As-Sabirin Wa Thakhirat Ash-Shakirin,” by Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyya (pg 122).

Al-Zuhary said that ‘Urwa narrated that ‘Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said: “The Messenger of Allah (saw) said:

“Whenever a catastrophe happens to a Muslim,  Allah will expiate his sins by it, even if a thorn pricks him.” (Al-Bukhari 6059, Muslim 1062)

‘Aishah said: “The Prophet (saw) said:

“Whenever a thorn pricks a believer, Allah will raise him a grade and decrease one of his sins by it.” (Muslim 2572)

So when you find yourself in a thorny situation just be cool.  It may be that Allah wants to test you so that he can reward you for your patience.

The Real McCoy

As Salaamu Alaikum,

it’s so good to be back.  I hope I’ve been missed, if not that’s cool too.  It’s been maybe 3 or 4 days since my last posting.   I had an unsettling weekend which was only beneficial in inspiring the previous post.  It was great to use that negative energy to crank out my last rant.  But, when I tried to return to the regular “lemme tell you what I know” blogging mode, I got stuck.  My fingers refused to move, and my brain simply said, “forget you.” And that was that.

Alhamdulilah my brain fart has passed.  I’m stationed back in front of my monitor, ignorantly large cup of tea in my hand, ready to go. 

Since I’ve had a few days to reflect, I’ve come to a tremendous realization.  That is that the Qur’an is the real deal.  Not that I ever doubted it.  It’s just that every time I find myself in a rut, I open it up, start reading, and Wa La!  There, within its pages, lies a wealth of knowledge, a panacea.  There is no ailment known to mankind that Allah hasn’t provided a cure for.  The healing starts between the covers of His book. 

Now I’m going to assume that my Muslim readers already know this.  However if you aren’t Muslim and you happen to be reading, know that this is no hoax.  I don’t pussyfoot around on my blog.  I only speak from my own actualities.  In my last post I complained of small-fry annoyances that irked me over the weekend.  Let me inform you that I’ve been through hellish situations in comparison to those minor irritations.  The wisdom I’ve found in the Qur’an  has pulled me out of them all.  If you don’t believe me try it for yourself.  I challenge you to grab a copy of the Meaning of the Qur’an in your native language and read it.  Approach it with an open mind, and sincere intentions on seeking the truth.  I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.  You know what they say…”ain’t nothing like the real thing baby.”

On that note I’m going to end this.  I’ve challenged you all, and I’d love to see who actually takes me up on it.  Please do comment below or tweet me @UmmQamar and let me know your thoughts.  You don’t stand to lose anything from reading a book.

A Follow up to- “Don’t Judge a Book by it’s Cover”


Alhamdulilah.  This weekend was an epic fail for me.  The last couple of days I’ve been on edge, to say the least.  I’ve been tempted to unleash a wild torrent of emotions upon certain individuals.  They shall remain nameless. 

Some people can get under your skin if you allow them to.  This is where sabr (patience) is a vital tool in helping you keep your cool.  Never give a person  the power to get you out of your character.  More importantly don’t let Shaitan succeed in his mission.  If you become irate and act irrationally only you will be held accountable for your actions. 

Nevertheless, it is common knowledge that humans aren’t infallible.  We all make mistakes, and we all have character flaws, Muslims included.  Yes, that’s right, we Muslims are indeed humans.  I’ve come across plenty of Muslims that behave so treacherously you could not pay me to believe they were upon the Sunnah, even if it was stamped on their foreheads.  I say this to illustrate my point.  You cannot judge an entire group of people

Fair and Balanced Judgment- Photo courtesy of renjith krishnan

according to the actions of a few.  If the actions of a few bad apples spoke for us all, Islam wouldn’t be the fastest growing religion in the world to date. 

So back to the annoyances I was plagued with this past weekend.  I forgive them for their misdeeds.  However I’m having difficulty trying to convince myself that I should take naseeha (advice) from such people.  I’m only responsible for following the Qur’an and Sunnah to the best of my abilities.  I refuse to blind follow any man, especially one who sees absolutely no wrong in himself.  Brothers and sisters , let us remember to check ourselves and our families first, before we deal out advice to others.

The Beauty of Faith

“Mommy how do you build a house?”

There it was, the perfect opportunity for me to finally say something profound and memorable to my son.  Every parent wants to be thought of as wise and knowledgeable by ones children.  So I leaned my head thoughtfully to one side and said…”Well, I guess you have to pour the foundation first.”  Wonk, wonk, I know I should have come a lot harder than that, but the kid put me on the spot.  Although my answer wasn’t as meaningful as I wanted it to be, it sufficed.

Solid foundations are the essential building blocks of life.  There is no situation, structure, or system, that can withstand the blunt force blows dealt to us by life without a firm foundation.  Within our own family units we refer to the strongest member of the household as the “rock” of the family.  The rock is the individual that everyone leans on for support.  Without that individual the family is likely to crumble under the stress of today’s societal woes. If you’re having difficulty  distinguishing who the rock is in your home, don’t worry there is somewhere else you can turn to for solace.

You can look within yourself.  But be careful, introspection is only useful when you have Faith.  I don’t mean the kind of faith that you have in your favorite basketball team or American Idol contestant, I mean faith in God.  The one and only true God.  As far as the Muslim is concerned we should have a clear understanding of Tawheed(to single out Allah as the one and only God worthy of worship).  We attribute complete lordship to Allah.  We direct all acts of worship to Allah, and we recognize that Allah has the most beautiful and unique names and attributes.  When we have a firm grasp on all aspects of Tawheed and actually put those concepts into practice, then we can turn to ourselves for solutions.  A person who is well-rounded in their belief of Allah is better equipped to handle the curveballs that life pitches.

Now, of course I refrained from giving that whole synopsis to my four-year old son.  Something tells me he would have found more pleasure in playing with Thomas the Tank engine, than in listening to mommy babble about faith.  Needless to say I do talk to my son about God.  I try to explain in kid friendly language that God exists, he’s always watching us, and that he should be our only go to guy for supplications.  I’ll let Bob the Builder explain all the ins and outs of home construction, I’m sure he’d do a much better job.

I admit it…I’m an imposter

Devil's Pie (photo courtesy of graur codrin)

I know you all thought I was righteous.  What with all my naseeha, and Hadith of the Day posts you probably envisioned me to be a saint.  But guess what?  I have issues.

That’s right I said it, I have major character flaws.  You could even go as far as to say i’m a sinner.  Gasp!  My lord, shut the front door.  Umm Qamar is a sinner?  Yes I am, and so are you.  So hop off your righteous pedestals for a moment and hear me out.

Yesterday I finally did it.  I told my boyfriend of 3 years that it was over.  Finite.  Now, obviously I know that dating doesn’t exist in Islam.  You’re either married or you’re not.  That’s where my sin comes in.  Take note, I’m a still a wet behind the ears, fresh off the Jahiliyah boat, revert.  Islam is not entirely new to me, as I was raised as a Muslim.  However, I did go through a tumultuous , dark phase in my life,  where I strayed dangerously from the Siratul Mustaqueem.  It’s only through His unconditional mercy, that I was able to grasp a hold of the rope of Allah.  And this time around you’re going to have to hack my hands off this rope with a pick axe to detach me from Islam.

I’ve come too far and have been through too much, to let Shaitan hold my heart captive again.  That illicit relationship I spoke of, is the remnants of a life in bondage.  I was a slave to my own desires. In truth, having a boyfriend was a small slice of the devil’s pie I once feasted on.  Shaitan really did a number on me.  He made the dunya seem so appetizing to me. I wanted none other than t0 indulge in the ephemeral fantasies of this life.

That, my brothers and sisters is why I’m qualified to advise you as I do now.  Not because I’m so knowledgeable, but because I’ve delved deep into the ugly side of life.  I know from experience that nothing is more satisfying than worshipping Allah.  So when I come on here talking that talk of how we should  restrain ourselves from loving this world too much, you all should understand that I’m speaking sincerely from the depths of my heart.

Written with love,

By Umm Qamar, a humble servant of Allah

“The Deen is not a Game…

…and Allah is not playing with us.”  So why are we playing with him?  Why do we take the wrath of Allah lightly?  Do we think we are invincible?  Allah (SWT) warns us in the Qur’an of this dangerous game that we play when he says:

وَٱلۡعَصۡرِ (١) إِنَّ ٱلۡإِنسَـٰنَ لَفِى خُسۡرٍ (٢) إِلَّا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ وَعَمِلُواْ ٱلصَّـٰلِحَـٰتِ وَتَوَاصَوۡاْ بِٱلۡحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوۡاْ بِٱلصَّبۡرِ (٣)

“By Al’ Asr (the time).  Verily, man is in loss.  Except those who believe and do righteous good deeds, and recommend one another to the truth, and recommend one another to patience.” (103:1-3)

Allah swears by time, so you know this is a serious matter.  We are all a people lost.  If we aren’t conscious of our deeds, know that surely Allah is.  Speaking from experience I know it’s easy to lose track of yourself.  It may be your intention to perform a good deed fisibilillah, but you end up sidetracked.  The Shaytan presents you with a matter that is more pressing.  This happens to me more than I should like to admit.  I make plans to sit and read Qur’an, then I remember that thing I have to do.  Or maybe I’ll have plans to devote some time to studying Arabic, but I can’t seem to free myself from the overly consuming tasks that clutter my day.  This is a vicious cycle that needs to be put to death.

We know that we do not control time.  Yet we walk around donning S’s on our chests thinking that we can avoid our outcome.  This simply isn’t true.  Perhaps you meet death with the very next step you take.  Are you prepared? Have you utilized  this loan of time, that Allah has given you out of his mercy, to the best of your abilities.  Like our Prophet (SAW) said: “What have you prepared for it?”  It being the Day when you will stand in front of your maker.  Did you really worship your Lord the way he should be worshipped?  Or were you just playing around?  Taking your deen for a joke.  To impart the words of a local Imam- “the deen is not a game, and Allah is not playing with us.”  This serves as a reminder for myself to dedicate the hours of my day to what is more beneficial to me,  dhikr Allah.  My last breath could escape my body at anytime.  Trust me I want to be prepared.

(Quote taken from the Jumua khutba given by brother Aqueel Ingram, the Imam of Dar ul Hadeeth, in Washington, D.C.)