I know you all thought I was righteous. What with all my naseeha, and Hadith of the Day posts you probably envisioned me to be a saint. But guess what? I have issues.
That’s right I said it, I have major character flaws. You could even go as far as to say i’m a sinner. Gasp! My lord, shut the front door. Umm Qamar is a sinner? Yes I am, and so are you. So hop off your righteous pedestals for a moment and hear me out.
Yesterday I finally did it. I told my boyfriend of 3 years that it was over.
Finite. Now, obviously I know that dating doesn’t exist in Islam. You’re either married or you’re not. That’s where my sin comes in. Take note, I’m a still a wet behind the ears, fresh off the Jahiliyah boat, revert. Islam is not entirely new to me, as I was raised as a Muslim. However, I did go through a tumultuous , dark phase in my life, where I strayed dangerously from the Siratul Mustaqueem. It’s only through His unconditional mercy, that I was able to grasp a hold of the rope of Allah. And this time around you’re going to have to hack my hands off this rope with a pick axe to detach me from Islam.
I’ve come too far and have been through too much, to let Shaitan hold my heart captive again. That illicit relationship I spoke of, is the remnants of a life in bondage. I was a slave to my own desires. In truth, having a boyfriend was a small slice of the devil’s pie I once feasted on. Shaitan really did a number on me. He made the dunya seem so appetizing to me. I wanted none other than t0 indulge in the ephemeral fantasies of this life.
That, my brothers and sisters is why I’m qualified to advise you as I do now. Not because I’m so knowledgeable, but because I’ve delved deep into the ugly side of life. I know from experience that nothing is more satisfying than worshipping Allah. So when I come on here talking that talk of how we should restrain ourselves from loving this world too much, you all should understand that I’m speaking sincerely from the depths of my heart.
Written with love,
By Umm Qamar, a humble servant of Allah